there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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