Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
