All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
