Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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