Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
