I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So much rum. So many feels.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
