Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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