you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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