Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
