hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
