What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
