I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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