I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
