Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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