The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
