pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
