did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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