Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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