Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Your penis caused this!
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