in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my being single is dangerous.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
