Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
are you so shy because you have an std?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
