we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
