Just fell off a train. Bad.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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