I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
