i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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