Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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