sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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