just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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