He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
