Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need moral support for this bender
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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