I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
