her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
