they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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