I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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