How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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