sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
