I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
