I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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