Dual....:-)
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You're like the curious george of whores
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
