I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
