Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
