btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
