I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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