So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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