I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
