If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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