I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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