I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize