we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
