Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
