So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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