bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
