so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize