just tell him i said nine months
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
