Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
