i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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