she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize