fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
