I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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