i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
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In other news, I just burned my penis
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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