Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
