theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
