The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
